Tom Brady – Disaesthetic

Looking Live at NFL Week 5, 2025

I won’t be watching football this weekend, nor have I watched any this week. I’m celebrating my anniversary. Two glorious years! I jokingly told my wife over crab mac and cheese “here’s to two more years” which she took to mean our marriage would only last two more years… I recovered quickly by claiming I was starting a tradition. Every anniversary I will proclaim “here’s to [insert anniversary year milestone] more years” to expand upon the many positive years to look forward to. She wondered what I will say on our 50th anniversary. Obviously another 50 years! What else? We’re not dying right?

So far I’m failing, hard, at my picks. Rather than blame myself I’ll borrow from Tom Brady’s assessment of the NFL’s current QB’s and the CBA. Today’s college prospects are less prepared for the NFL than ever. While the transfer portal and NIL has provide the “student athletes” freedom to own their own destiny (and rightfully so), college players seem more focused on collecting every endorsement dollar possible rather than develop their skills for the professional level. Obviously most athletes peak at the collegiate level and thus we ought to encourage them to make good on their brief financial opportunities. Still most of them don’t realize they’re not cut out for the NFL and still persist towards the league.

Gone, likely, are the days of a Tom Brady sticking it out at one university and fighting up the bottom of the depth chart to starter. QB’s especially need a certain number of college starts, wins, and pass attempts before having preparedness for the NFL. The Bill Parcell Rules are a great starting point: be a three-year starter, senior and graduate from college, start 30 games and win at least 23, 2:1 TD-to-INT ratio, and complete at least 60% of pass attempts. While these rules aren’t fool-proof (look at Tom Brady) it’s a great starting point. I can overlook college wins if the prospect played with weaker talent but still performed well. Starting 30 or more games over 3 years plus 2:1 TDs-to-INTs on a high volume of pass attempts means more to me.

Cam Ward had 2330 passes in college. Anthony Richardson only had 393 attempts. Ward is on a horrible team with a worse coaching staff, yet watching him on Sundays you can see he’s not the problem. Put him on the Colts at the start of the off-season and he plays as good as Danny Dimes. Richardson would be lucky to make any team’s practice squad.

Add these ill-prepared and limited number of fine college prospects to the current NFL CBA. The number of padded practices during the season and training camp are limited, as well as full-contact practice which also mandates recovery days. Two-a-day practices are extinct. The CBA also limits the length and intensity of off-season workouts and in-season practices to promote player safety. I’m not here to do away with these rules; however, these limitations have constrained player development to a point where it affects the quality of the game and overall the product. The player safety paradigm has swung too far towards safety. The game is inherently unsafe and we ought to accept the obvious truth.

We need relinquish some of these limits, otherwise we’ll continue to look at weeks 1 through 4 has the preseason. The three preseason games we have now do not server to prepare starters for the regular season. Over the past 25 years the preseason as mattered less and less as clubs sought to avoid injuries to star and key players. While preseason games told us little about the teams until week 1 it still served developing rookies or developmental players on the fringe. Doesn’t seem to serve any purpose anymore other than to provide on-air content. These inefficiencies in the NFL product will get better. The game has only gotten better in its history and overcome conflicts like domestic violence and chronic head injuries. It will be a few years before the collegiate level figures out how to control and manage the portal and NIL. The current NFL CBA. expires after the 2030 season. Things will change, but not for at least another 5 seasons.

Anyways, I’m not going to pick every game as I usually do. I’ll give my 3 picks, which will be purely based on gut feeling rather than some research and analysis with my gut. Knowing my luck week 5 will be steller with great performances from contending teams while I drive home from the Gulf Coast. I’m giving 4 picks this week. Just had to. You’ll see why.

Giants +3.5

Eagles -3.5

Panthers +1.5*

Buccaneers +4.5

*Fuck it I’m shorting the Dolphins again!!!

Mabel Listens to Me

Yesterday I spent the closing hours of another “too short” weekend catching up on The Dynasty, an Apple TV documentary series of the New England Patriots. Just me and the dog, Mabel, who had zero interest in my enthrallment with Belichick souffléing an 11-5 record without Tom Brady or my elation (yes exhilaration) to hear Brandon Lloyd, Deion Branch, and Wes Welker widen the scope of Aaron Hernandez’s maniac behavior behind the walls of the Patriots organization.

With a freshly made vodkarita in hand… Look I’m not doing footnotes here… I haven’t replaced the Don Julio yet. I refuse anything beneath Don Julio in terms of tequila. Anyways, I’m ready to sip my next libation as Ernie Adams, Patriots Director of Football Research, whatever the fuck that means, takes into the next episode.

“We were looking for toughness and intensity in a football player. In the fourth round, we found this guy that we liked. You know, there was were some off-the-field issues. We thought ‘There’s a degree of risk here, but it makes sense to take it.’ But looking in hindsight, of course, we did not understand the full dimensions of what the problem was.”

“OH SHIT!” I holler out in my buzzed thrill, waking poor Mabel from behind the couch. Is it fucked up to get excited about an Aaron Hernandez episode? Yeah probably, but I can’t help my fascination with problematic millionaires with celebrity, status, and power who murder multiple victims like it’s another Tuesday. The man was unhinged but still managed to play an entire regular season of football, a Super Bowl, and $40 million dollar contract after murdering multiple men in cold blood.

When Brandon Lloyd recalls Wes Welker warning him “Aaron, he’s gonna fondle his genitalia in front of you, he’s gonna talk about bathing with his mom, and you’ve just gotta ignore it” how can you not feel captivated. And yeah Hernandez is as charming as the 6 AM turd I pick from Mabel every morning. Still, that shit always stunk and to hear a new dimension to his depravity only makes everyone involved look even worse. Belichick, Adams, the Krafts, all of the Patriots organization.

Which brings me to Belichick. What the hell is this smear campaign? It’s not just this docu series. There’s an entire media narrative squeeze every ounce of discredit-paste out of the Belichick tube. Like serious, what is the fucking rhetoric “hE nEvEr wOn wItHoUt bRaDy!”

Bill Walsh never won without Joe Montana. Andy Reid never won without Patrick Mahomes. Chuck Noll never won without Terry Bradshaw.

You almost never win without a Hall of Fame quarterback. In the 21st century, only Trent Dilfer, Brad Johnson, Joe Flacco, and Nick Foles will not make it to the Hall of Fame. Eli Manning, Russell Wilson, and Matthew Stafford are borderline guys, but Tom Brady (7x Super Bowls), Ben Roethlisberger (2x), Peyton Manning (2x), Drew Brees, Aaron Rodgers, and Patrick Mahomes (3x) are Hall of Famers.

Yeah, Brady is the greatest. It’s not a debate for me. Mahomes is more talented, clearly, but he’s not even half up Everest yet. This isn’t about those guys. This is about Bob and Jonathan Kraft’s egos. Guys, you want equal credit for the Brady Belichick dynasty? What, because you hired Bill? Because you sign the checks? You didn’t cultivate the greatest NFL dynasty. Those two men did.

No matter how actively those two try to rewrite history and the reform the narrative, those of us who watched for the past two decades plus and give a shit about what happen know greatest sports run in the 21st century started with Belichick, and yes, if not for Brady, there wouldn’t be six Lombardi trophies at 1 Patriot Place.

Who will the Krafts blame when they don’t win another Super Bowl for a decade plus? Will they still blame Bill? Whose fault will it be? I sat there alone in my living room thinking about who they would flick the nickel to. Not a dollar, a nickel, since the Krafts received failing grades from an NFLPA report card in treatment of families, weight room, team travel, and…

D+ in ownership? Bobby you are the owner?!

I’m really looking forward to Belichick coming back for the 2025 season and having a few FUCK YOU seasons with another team. It’ll be fun to listen to all the scribes and hacks do a 180 when he finds success again.

When the thoughts come to their natural conclusion I’m still alone. Speculating about how crazy Hernandez really was or Belichick’s besmirchment on my own. Mabel already back asleep and amnesic about my furor. I’m reminded of Chuck Klosterman’s theory of what history and culture lives on after us.

Those of us who care the most archive and document the information to ensure its record. Those who care the least however determine what will live on past our time on earth.

I worry I’ve become one of those people who care the most (care too much) about things that matter very little to most people, including my wife, friends, and family. Even my dad, who introduced me to football and American sport, could give a shit about Belichick and if he’ll get another job.

To be clear, I care about this individual because I’ve shaped much of professional approach to my career based on how Belichick shaped his culture in New England and his approach to managing a team. I’m far more goofy and willing to share myself with others, but I admire his fearlessness executing decisions in best interest of the organization.

His approach included dispassionate choices of personnel, exploiting the weakness (and stupidity) of opponents, and direct confrontation with players when he delivered coaching.

Matt Cassel shared a bit of coaching from Bill in The Dynasty. “One time, I don’t see a corner blitz, and I get absolutely annihilated, like boom! Belichick comes in and he says, ‘Cassel, can we figure out the corner blitz? Because I don’t want to have to write your mother a letter that says, ‘Dear Mrs. Cassel, we’re sorry to inform you that your son is dead because he’s a dumbass and didn’t see the corner blitz.'”

Remember that NFLPA report card I mentioned earlier? Only 55% of players felt Belichick was efficient with their time and felt he was rarely willing to listen to the locker room. Being demanding in the NFL, or just in life general is just too uncomfortable for “modern” people.

You can try bubble wrapping the world all you want, but life is demanding. It’s not supposed to be easy. Stress, anxiety, confrontation, and discomfort all exist naturally in our world. Avoiding them and hiding in your pantry won’t make them ago away.

Difficult feelings aren’t negative or positive. They’re a natural response to a situation. It’s unfortunate society decays into deeper brittleness. Belichick’s ousting is small in scale but not unimportant in the grand scheme of culture frailty in America. Sadly, I’m the only one I know personally who cares as much or even believes this phenomenon cries out for attention.

Maybe that’s the hardest part about caring. Always has been for me, whether it was small unheralded bands like Roomrunner or overlooked Dragonball Z characters, Gohan from Trunks’ timeline. You push in your own way year after year with your own oratory, but the people in your life don’t really care anymore than the first time they heard your speech. In fact, they just want you to shut up about it finally. At least the dog will stick around and listen

Maybe I’m just bummed I’ve run out of friends willing to listen lay out these ideas over a few beers. I’m 32 and can’t honestly say I can give them the same time I did when I was 22, 25, or 28. I showed my wife Stand By Me for the first time a few weeks ago, and the ending keeps resurfacing in my head. Feels like all these friendships will turn into Chris Chambers. I won’t see them every year or for years, but I know I’ll miss them .

You never have friends later in life like the ones we have in adolescences or in my case before I really became an independent adult.

Something I Herd

I listen to Colin Cowherd almost everyday after work. In his daily “Opening Rant” Cowherd usually shares a personal anecdote to relate to one of many sports headlines of the day. Today he went in on Kevin Durant’s recent public exposure he’s still sore about his time in Oklahoma City. Quick back story, Durant was caught using “ghost” social media accounts to argue with trolls and detractors. Colin wasn’t “perplexed” by Durant’s behavior and I wasn’t either after his argument.

We learned last summer of deep personal discontent between Durant and Russell Westbrook and the rest of the Thunder organization. Everyone got exposure to what Durant likely wanted private. Cowherd related Durant’s public scrutiny to a public divorce. There’s a new chip on his shoulder and desire to prove sports fans and media wrong about his decision. Kevin has nothing to prove. He won a championship, was the best player in that Finals, and solidified himself as one of the best to ever do it.

Durant’s not unique among other greats though. Cowherd used a favorite NFL Film’s clip of mine. Tom Brady, now a five time champion, wept when asked about the day he was drafted. I stamp this as Exhibit A for why Brady stands as the great quarterback ever. Even now, and then too, falling to pick # 199 vexes his core. It’s helped motivate five Super Bowl victories and a wealthy life. I look and think about his story a lot, personally.

I’ve never written this publicly. My biological father gave up his parental rights to me when my parents divorced. Did you read that? I said gave up, not terminated, which is the proper/legal phrasing. I still feel like he gave me up. Now I’ve forgive him but never told him that. I may never tell him. We haven’t talked in over five years. I don’t know why he did it and at this point I honestly don’t want to know.

He was probably 27 or 28 years old, not much older than, and he fucked up. I fuck up, all the time. He made a mistake. It doesn’t justify it for me but I understand he fucked up. He was young and I’m certain it’s probably his biggest regret. While I’m really proud of myself for forgiving him and moving forward I cannot deny it still infuriates me. Like Brady and Durant, I’m bigger and better than my scars but they’re always there and I’ll never forgot the shame and abandonment I felt.

Those negative feelings have motivated my personal success more than anything else. I’m just being honest. It almost disgusts me how adverse my motivation is, but it’s taken me to places I didn’t think climb to. A therapist told my mom and dad (stepdad) how lucky they were I was on the trajectory you’d want your kid. Looking back on my school days I can see some many classmates and former friends that never escaped the emotional rut of a broken home or simply themselves.

Like Cowherd, we’re both children of divorce. I think there’s something about the abandonment and failed marriage, for me, that changes you forever, like leaving an everlasting crater. When that pain comes back through bad parenting, friends cutting you off, and girlfriends leaving you I’ve struggled to overcome those… I call them failures. They’re really disappointments and learning experiences but some side of me, perhaps my ego, sees them as failures.

With every “failure” comes a new challenge to rise up and overcome. I’ve made it. It took longer than I would have liked but I did it. The hardest hurt to get over was a break up. Seems like lifetimes ago. It’s negative and positive at the same time. I unfortunately compare myself and measure where I am in life. Conversely it’s pushed me to succeed where I didn’t think I could. I hope in achieving my goals I can leave behind abandonment once an for all.

What I herd today from Colin made me see I can put my pain to rest. I’ve committed myself to lose weight, and I have. I’m making progress in my career to climb up where I want to create my best work.