Tag: Personal

Cheers to 17!

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Temples of Nara

It’s been a crazy fucking year. Can’t believe it’s almost over. By the time you read this it’ll probably already be 2018. Never a dull week or month.

There were definitely some challenging days for sure. I saw friends lose jobs. I had my own growing pains adulting. Through it all, personally, this year was a triumph for me.

Last year was so lousy. I was just trying to fucking survive. After finally standing up and gathering a positive outlook again I just ran towards my goals, my dreams, everything I wanted.

There’s no one I’m more grateful to than my mother and family. They always want the best for me and always support me. I never appreciated them enough until these last two years. I’m blessed to have them all.

My mom more than anyone has been there for me. I appreciate our relationship and everything you do for the family. We owe you a debt we cannot repay.

I want to thank my employer and my co-workers for that. They gave me an opportunity to pick myself up and make good on everything they gave. I was able to get a car, an apartment in North Park, and the allowance to travel.

I got to go to Japan, man. Always wanted to go and I got to see that beautiful wonderful country with one of my best friends. I also got to see my oldest friend in Sacramento again.

I’ve been so fortunate over these last two years despite any difficulties I’ve dealt with. I’m a lot stronger and situated thanks to everyone at RA.

Also gotta shout to the best friends you could have. Greg, I don’t have to say anything. You know what you done for me and everyone. I think for anyone out there next year is gonna be yours. Go get that grind and take it.

Jake, look at you man. Look how far you’ve come and now you’re gonna be some big time producer. Just don’t forget us regular folks when you’re crafting fire with Eminem or something.

Andrew, keep living the dream. Pat yourself on the back more. You’ve done so much this year. Take a minute and be proud of yourself. We’re all proud.

So many people I gotta thank. Amelia you’re the best roommate. Funny we ended up as roommates in the first place I was, maybe still little bit, such boy in school. I appreciate how awesome and inclusive you are with people.

You have nothing but my respect and you already know that. Super blessed we’re homies just living the dream in hipster paradise.

To my RA peoples, Cameron and Rhue you guys nurtured me from the beginning. I’m appreciative to not only have worked together but also being your friend. Good things come to those give their goodness to others. I know good things are in store for you.

To everyone else at RA, you guys have all made an impact with me. I really appreciate everyone there. Thanks for putting up with me, I’m kinda difficult sometimes. Despite that people still treat me with decency.

More than anyone though, Jamie you’re my best and the best Batman ever. You know I have no problem being the pretty boy Robin. We’re the best team and I feel like we can take over the world. You’re also a dear friend and I can never imagine it being any different.

So funny right? I never thought we could team up when we meet. Now we joke about it all the time. I’m so grateful for you and hope you know that. Go Bama! And just win baby!

 

Anniversary Anxiety

It’s almost been two years since some momentous events occurred in my life. I started with my employer and thanks to that opportunity I’ve been able to live comfortably. I got to go to Japan this year, bought a new car, go out whenever I want, and buy whatever discretionary thing I want. Unfortunately two years ago I also went through a pretty painful break-up. I’m still trying to pick up some of the pieces. Thankfully I’m over her and I’ve overcome a lot of the personal trauma that came with the disfunction.

It took longer than I would have liked but time is relative. Looking back I started a reconstructive path rather quickly. Where I’ve fallen short however remains in meeting someone new. I’ve had the fortune of meeting some new woman this year. One I really liked. Most of those however didn’t come from going out and meeting someone. This coming year I need to stay committed to the gym along with going out, even on my own. It may be better to go on my own too.

One personal self improvement I’m proud of this year stands in my discipline to plan. I may have mentioned the Best Self journal before. It’s amazing how much it’s helped me put pen to paper, remember what I need to do, organize my life. I still have room for improvement as far as staying on top of my planning and keeping committed to my plans. I can be proud of how I’m tracking my progress towards my goals.

If I’m not working out like I plan I make sure to focus on it in my journal. I write about opportunities for improvement and what I could do better. It’s helpful to write down all of these events and ideas to reflect on later. Sure, I use my phone calendar to book reminders. I’ve experimented with journal/planner apps but I’m probably the last of generation that still prefers writing down plans.

Early this year I made a goal of focusing on date. My primary idea of making that happen would be in trying to go out on my own. Sit at a nice bar on my own. Go to Balboa Park and museums. Maybe go to the beach. Hike more on my own. I know it can work but I’m also afraid due to my lack of confidence. I’m also the kind of person that needs to feel in control of those types of situations. I need to feel prepared, but meeting someone new out in the world always seems to happen by chance. You’ll never be able to plan for that.

Next year my hope is to meet somebody and make a connection. Orchestrate situations where I give myself a chance make contact. If last year was about standing up again, this year was about learning how to thrive on my own. It’s hard not to grade myself harshly but I’m proud where I am now. I have more goals to meet. I’d like to advance professionally and contribute to my organization at a higher level than I’m at now. I believe I can make difference. Hopefully they see that and present opportunities within the company.

It’s been a good year. Time went by fast. I enjoyed many new experiences. Hopefully more adventures will come along and further galvanize my life. I’ve made so many excuses through fear. If I don’t exhaust my ambition for something I won’t get to enjoy those fortunes. As this anxious anniversary passes by I’m reminded of my reluctance to accept the loss of someone who was in my life everyday. Don’t let regret consume time for revel.

New Squads

It’s been an interest last 3-4 months. I’ve done some traveling, flirted on the savanna, facing some adversity professionally, and meeting new people. You look back two years and people you thought would be around forever are across the sea or just strangers. We’ll never speak again and it’s mutual. I don’t look back in anger or disappointment anymore. I’m still learning to look forward. Everyday is a new day. You don’t know who you’re gonna meet and who will be come your friend.

On Saturday I went out with Greg and a couple dudes I don’t see much. Not sure what it was but the four of us had a great vibe going. We’re all pretty different yet there’s a great mixture of personalities. I’m extremely gregarious. Just stoked to have friends visit and chill in my neighborhood. The rest of the boys tell great stories, have great humor, and there’s an easy conversational flow. Perhaps this is the start of a new squad. I’ve wanted a crew again for a long time. I fucked up with Bro Gang when I was in a relationship. I wasted years not hanging with them enough. It’s no one’s fault but my own.

I have an opportunity to build some new bonds with a Bro Gang veteran and some good friends I could get closer with. I’m single now but I’ve learned a lot from last time. I want to make the most of my time now and I need to have strong friendships outside of a future relationship. I don’t foresee that happening anytime soon but going out with friends gets me closer. I’m just glad to have company with these dudes. We’ve got some plans this Thursday to go to Kindred. I have home field advantage. Kindred possesses my vibe like black metal ritual would. Can’t wait to wear my best, look my best, be my best.