Halfway 2018

I’m sad to say since starting my new job I don’t think about music as much as last year. At least not in the same way. I had more time on my hands before. Since transitioning to my new employer I spend most of my time working and the remaining hours planning how to use the rest of my time effectively.

Listing a top 10 right now would be difficult. I could rustle up a great list of singles. Beyonce and Jay Z’s “APESHIT” will remind me of this summer forever, reveling in my life accomplishments. Drake’s Scorpion had several memorable singles, most of which came out before its release. Nas and Kanye made a banger out of “Cop Shot The Kid” despite its timely subject.

Code Orange’s singles have feed off Forever’s continued success. Incredibly clever to give fans little bites of new music while they’re having their moment. They’ll face tall expectations on their follow-up.

Hundredth did the same thing with Ultrarare, a dark new wave remix album. I could get away with playing tracks off of it at Blonde Bar (SD reference). Oso Oso’s new single fits nicely on my summer playlist. I’d kind of forgotten about them, but a good single can serve as a great reminder.

Most of the albums I held expectations for entering this year I never got to or were just disappointing. Dance Gavin Dance’s Artificial Selection didn’t grab me like Mothership. I realize they have a style, constant throughout their discography, but this one didn’t stand part enough. Perhaps with time it’ll catch my fancy.

Parkway Drive’s Reverence alienates me further from the band. They still look incredibly energetic live and the audience still responds emphatically, but I feel nothing for their latest project. I could say the same for The Plot in You’s DISPOSE and Kurt Travis’s new band Royal Coda.

Still haven’t heard new albums from oOoOO, Turnstile, or Turbonegro, yet. Frankly I haven’t been in the mood to listen to those records.

31913969_10155620006531194_7627727931896233984_o

Electrum Photography

I’m more excited for what’s to come this fall. Uniform’s third LP The Long Walk drops August 17th. “The Walk” smashes atoms like nuclear fission. Wake in Fright made my top ten last year and I expect similar quality this year. There’s more material for them to attack with everything that’s gone on in America. Gun violence is soooo last year.

In September, Fit for a King and Revocation embark on headlining tours to support their new albums.

Two years ago Deathgrip nearly topped my annual list. “The Price of Agony” and “Tower of Pain” singles offer both blackening brutality and uncompromising radio metal. These are the best elements FFAK offer: savage pit inspiring breakdowns and moments of festival level callbacks. I’m looking forward to working out when Dark Skies comes out September 14th.

In back to back years Revocation had two of the best albums of those years. David Davidson’s reputation as a generational guitarist keeps building with each release. For me, he’s emerging into James Hetfield/Dimebag level kick ass riffs.

I didn’t enjoy their last outing as much but my intuition says The Outer Ones contends for a spot on my list this year, which drops on September 27th.

Perhaps the release I’m anticipating most is Fiends’ debut album Me Time. I reached out to the band but there’s no set date yet. They’re probably waiting for their unannounced label. Check out their singles “Keep Me in The Dark” and “700 Club” on YouTube.

Metalsucks perfectly described Fiends as a Lamb of God and Tool hybrid. Bassist/singer James Hyde sings a bit like Maynard James Keenan and screamer Garrett Moore reminisces of Randy Blythe; however, in bridges and outros the band stylistically shifts to Rise Records post-hardcore. Those singles have a great mix of “pop” heavy music and universally accepted metal.

As I acclimate to my new job my mood should shift back into exploring new albums. I look forward to the rest of this year and hope you’ll enjoy some of these releases.

Midnight Cowboy

I keep telling myself to love someone like I used to. Find someone, wife them up and live in romance, but I keep finding myself unsatisfied. I’m smitten for a moment but my feelings evaporate the next moment. It’s happening again. She’s a sweet woman but I’m not letting it go any further. I’m having a difficulty clarifying why I can’t commit to her. I want to a relationship. Be with somebody. So why can’t I just go with it?

Maybe I need to stop trying for a while. I’ve used dating apps a lot over the past few months and met some woman. All them wonderful and sweet but I’m not smitten as a friend put it today. We were walking Torrey Pines State Preserve this morning and finding ourselves in the same place. Late twenties and single. Meeting many partners but not captured like we once were. Lovely people but couldn’t commit.

Perhaps I’ve become comfortable enough alone. I don’t know what it’s going to take for a relationship to happen. Happenstance seems more evident. I value my independence. Maybe I’m not ready to bring a woman into my personal life. I know I’m not ready for anyone to meet my parents and friends. I don’t desire to get that involved right now. I think I need to maintain my independence more than anything.

There are different priorities for me now. Career goals sit at the top. I will spend more of my free time after work taking professional courses online. I’m exploring going into a Master’s program to better my opportunities. When I narrow down what I want, right now, elevating myself to higher level of professional responsibility and income supersedes a girlfriend. For many reasons personal achievement supplants everything.

I’m not in love with any one I’ve dated recently. Some of them evoked me emotionally but not love the way I have loved before. That’s not their fault. They were all wonderful women and deserve all the happiness in the world. Unfortunately I’m not giving them that happiness. I don’t have it for myself yet. I’m still working on making myself happy. Finding out what that is for me and what will keep me happy right now.

Uncle Tony

It’s a beautiful Sunday afternoon. I’m wishing I had another day like this before the reality of going back to work sets in. Let me have another day with my oldest friend back home for a weekend. Another night with a pretty girl in my bed. Just one more sunny afternoon under the umbrella with condensation running down my plastic coffee cup. Let me day dream about things I want to experience again and for the first time.

Writing this makes me grateful for the life I live. I have the smallest of problems. I look back and know not too long ago I didn’t want this life. I can’t help grieve for Anthony Bourdane who took his life this week. It’s been a few days but I was so angry when I read the news. Angry because I loved the person I saw on Parts Unknown, but more upset because suicide is such a waste. I’ve been there. We are worthy of finding happiness. I’ll probably never know what was going on with him but it sure as hell wasn’t worth it. He was loved and he will be missed.

His legacy will impact his loved ones more than anyone. For me he showed me places I never thought of visiting. He inspired me to travel. I don’t care how cliché that sounds. I’ve had good fortune seeing some wonderful places early in my life but once I hit my teens those experiences stopped for a while. I didn’t have any ambition to travel. Bourdane’s show feed that dormant desire in me. It wasn’t just the food but how he romanticized the places.

There wasn’t anything phony about his admiration. His genuinism influenced me to travel on my own dime and find solace in these new places. To find the space and air to find peace within myself.

Bourdane did that for me. He was one of the few people in recent years that gave us ideas about what’s beyond just working and going home every day. That the world isn’t just bigger in size but in its meaning. Sharing a plate of rice in Thailand means more than meal. It’s asking “how are you doing?” He introduced me to people who fought a revolution so they could eat Kentucky Fried Chicken. I could go on but you should just watch for yourself at this point. Bourdane might have left us physically but for those who watched a little piece of him will always live on.

RIP Tony