Category: Music

Moving on Down

hi-res-9449b2413352ba9b6064df73ece389e3_crop_north

 Brandon Ingram goes to the Lakers

A lot has happened since my last post. I went to Big Bear last weekend, Lebron won, I’ve been working out, Bill Simmons underwhelmed, I’m preparing to moving, and emotionally I’ve come a long way. I’m starting to see my own progress and believe in the steps I’ve taken to get better and improve myself. It’s been a long road on recovering but I’ve accomplished a lot over the last 4 months.

Big Bear had moments of awkwardness, for me, but overall I had a great time and got out of my comfort zone. I needed to get out and meet new people. Hiking Pine Knot Trail was great. I was afraid of struggling during the hike but I did just fine. Everyone was very friendly but it I had difficulties talking to them or getting to know them better. I have a ways to go with my confidence as far as socializing with people I don’t know well. At least I put myself in a situation where I could meet people. Improvements were made in that regard. I came home Sunday for father’s day only to have Lebron ruin a great ending to the weekend.

While I feel good for Cleveland, who were due for a championship, watching Lebron win bothers me. I don’t like the guy and I can’t really explain it. Anyway game 7 was great but not all time. Golden State simply couldn’t get Curry going, Klay struggled, Iggy was hurt, and Bogut on the sidelines hurt them the most. Sure Bogut is no super start but presence in the paint made going inside difficult for Lebron and Kyrie. With him gone, Cleveland dominated inside. Golden State couldn’t do enough to stay on top and close out Cleveland. The game came down to the end but honestly GSW lost the game more than Cleveland winning it. They could not score in the last 4 or 6 minutes. In a game that close it’s not surprising GSW lost when they couldn’t score at the end. I hope it doesn’t haunt them. They need to dump Harrison Barnes and Festus Ezeli this summer and add better depth. Word on the street is they will pursue Dirk Nowitzki which would be an unlikely addition but move them back up as front runners for the 2017 finals. They also need to find a back-up and future replacement for Bogut. His presence in the paint couldn’t be more valuable for this time. They need to prepare themselves for life with out Bogut.

This NBA season ended on a bad note with Lebron winning but next season already has me excited for the Lakers and the West as a whole. We got Brandon Ingram and Ivica Zubac in last night’s draft. Both will improve our team right now. Ingram’s small hips and lean frame bother me but he’s got a great skill set that will help us immediately. I don’t know much about Zubac but it’s a big center that I hope turns out like Kristaps Porziņģis. We are in need of dominate center again. Ingram, Randall, Russell, Clarkson, and Zubac looks like a great young line-up I can get behind. Oklahoma City got richer in the draft too moving Serge Ibaka to Orlando for big haul in Victor Oladipo, Ersan Ilyasova, and draftee Domantas Sabonis, son of Arvydas Sabonis. I’m not sure what the fuck Orlando is doing but as it stands right now OKC has the best collection of talent in the NBA. They are the favorite in my mind as the teams stand now. Imagine it, Durant, Westbrook, Oladipo, Adams, and you can pick between Kanter, Roberson, Ilyasova, and Sabonis as your 5 starters. That’s great fucking team on paper. GSW and the Spurs have catching up to.

simmons24s

Good job by you Billy?

Speaking of the NBA, Billy Simmons debuted his show Any Given Wednesday this week without much fan fair. Maybe I’m out of touch with things or removed due to my recent schedule or lack of attention. The first episode underwhelmed me. Ben Affleck’s appearance has gotten Simmons and the show a lot of attention but it wasn’t for anything he said. Affleck’s behavior and slurring attracted attention. I don’t think he was drunk but accusations have been made. It was a short episode that lacked anything super interesting. It was kind of like his podcast but I was watching it instead. Audio may be Simmon’s arena. Watching him did nothing for me. It’s only been one episode so things can only get better.

The past few weeks have been better superior to the past 4 months. I’m stronger emotionally and mentally. I don’t feel weak anymore. My confidence isn’t at full strength but I’ve improved tremendously. Negative thoughts don’t control my mind for hours and days. I have moments of weakness but I see them as an improvement. They don’t control me for more than a few minutes. I’m able to overcome them with reason and positive outlook. Being able to move out soon has really helped me feel good about myself. Now I can focus my new dwelling and the area I will live in. There are new experiences to have where I will live. Everything will be new. I won’t drive by places I have memories that haunt me. I can make new experiences somewhere else. Looking forward, I can’t wait to explore and live closer to the city. There are places to hike and discover in my new neighborhood. I hope to make strong relationships with my roommates and make new friends in this area. Once I establish myself again I can start looking for companionship again. I miss the comfort and affection I used to receive. I miss giving those passions to someone. I can tell I’m making progress there. I can muster enough strength and confidence to speak to women I find attractive and interesting. Sometimes they speak to me. It’s only happened at work and I don’t see anything happening there. It may not  be best to seek a relationship with someone from work but it’s a boost in my confidence in myself.

Feels Good, Again

13329077_1646259189032802_884609787_n

Vocalist Myke Terry of Volumes

June 2nd, 2015, I was in a very different place in my life. I was madly in love, and she was madly in love with me, and my band was at the height of its existence. City of Crooks was directly supporting As Blood Runs Black for a mini-festival at The Epicentre, now closed to live music. I had been promoting the hell out of the show for at least a month and sold plenty of tickets for that night. The show turned out like we had all hoped. Plenty of local kids showed and raged hard to all the bands. My band performed right before ABRB with kids singing our single “Ascension” and freaking out to our newest songs. It was one of the most rewarding nights of my life as a person making, performing, and working music. All was right in the world, besides my dog recently passing away.

During ABRB’s set I was introduced to the current drummer of Volumes, one of my favorite bands, Nick Ursic who was suppose to play with another of my favorite bands Of Mice & Men at SOMA San Diego. Austin Carlile, OM&M vocalist, had a health scare with his heart again and the show was cancelled. Nick stopped by Epicentre to say hello to some people at my show. In a group I talked music with him and heard about what was going on with Volumes. We were all treated to a little piece of insider information from him. After that night Volumes were going into the studio to start writing and recording their next record. Nick seemed really excited and talked about how much they had longed to get all the time they needed to write and record. They had planned this for a long time and couldn’t wait to show the world what they had been working on for sometime. That was all great and I looked forward to Volumes, and my current future.

Over a year later so much has changed. The me from that night at Epicentre would never believe it, nor want to. I’m single, not doing music, and working full time. Volumes and vocalist Michael Barr parted ways but have resurfaced with Fearless Records, new member ex-Bury Your Dead Myke Terry, and a new record on the way. “Feels Good” is the first single from their third full length. It’s a representation of the band’s reemergence from whatever kept them silent of the better part of a year. Musically it’s classic Volumes. Lots of chugs and groves to jump and lose yourself to at their shows. Myke’s cleans provide what Michael’s couldn’t do before. He sounds natural and less produced. There were also rumors circulating uncredited vocalists like ex-Periphery Casey Sabol had contributed clean vocals on No Sleep. Myke has upgraded Volumes with proficiency while the band remains energetic.

On a personal level for me, maybe them, “Feels Good” takes joy in triumph from sadness, failure, whatever blight you’re coming from. Myke Terry explains “it’s horribly bleak when you’re down…” however “it feels good to come out on top.” I couldn’t help but play it again and again. I’ve made my own strides too moving out of my parent’s place soon and rooming with complete strangers. Today I woke for the first time in a little over 4 months not depressed, not sad, but happy and content. I felt positive. I wasn’t constantly thinking about her or me and my self-doubt. I had my coffee and thought about moving on and going to work. I’m looking forward to things and thinking about what I want to do.

 

Soft Animal

14462428745_7fbe932880_z

Photo by Chloe Muro

I hadn’t been to the Che Cafe in almost 3 years or so. The venue survived a near shutdown from the University of California San Diego and stayed opened just of campus. Coming back refreshed my memories as a concert goer as a teenager and young adult. It doesn’t feel tarnished by times past with my ex or old friends. The Che, after all this time, still stands and hosts bands I want to see in a tight space. I went with some good friends to see The Hotelier last night. I wasn’t too familiar with them other than their Home, Like Noplace is There and briefly browsing them on YouTube. They’re on tour promoting their new record Goodness which the press has praised thoroughly.

The band didn’t seem too energized but performed a great setlist of new and old songs. They ran through a strong portion of Home playing “Your Deep Rest”, “Among The Wildflowers”, and “Life in Drag” early. I had hoped for these listening to their discography and got my wish. It’s pretty rare for bands, in my experience, to play songs off their records in order, unless they’re playing a full record. I felt myself falling into the Wildflowers singing the words I knew. The mixed crowd of kids and adults murmured as well. After they quieted down, Hotelier broke into “Life in Drag” inciting their ferocity into the front stage crowd. Finally some motion, some energy, some connect from band to audience, fans to artists. I knew this was what I missed about going to shows.

Hotelier’s best moments came during a new song “Soft Animal” in middle of the set. It’s a beautiful song and to experience it live validates my affection for the lyrics and pulse. Going through all my tragedies over the past year, especially recently, “Soft Animal” helps me put myself into perspective. Life is beautiful when you look outside of yourself. There’s more to existence than our own. The lyrics speak about encountering fawn in the winter, probably in Massachusetts where Hotelier is from. When I think about the wonder of earth, and all it homes, the words “make me believe that I don’t have to die” heals the wound in my chest. Like two hands rubbing warm water on my body. It was therapeutic. The Hotelier had a solid performance. As a new fan I can see they’re building on a connection with their scene. Goodness will serve well them well for the next two years or so on tours. This is a group I will look to see again on bigger stages with bigger crowds.