Sebastian Langkilde

North Park, CA

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I moved, again! This has been on the horizons for a while but it finally happened. My roommate and friend Amelia’s lease was finally up so the opportunity was there.

We moved yesterday and I’m feeling the results today. I wanted to work out before work but it was never going to happen (hysteric laughter). This week was punishing mentally and physically. Work was a grind with some personnel changes adding more work to the plate while I had this big move on my mind.

The increase in rent and such has kept my mind worried and stressed. I can handle it but I have to be more frugal now and watch my spending unlike before. My pay also didn’t go up as much as I hoped but I think with some patience that will come. I’m in the right position to achieve at work that will reward me.

Moving sure bleeds the wallet though. Since I got my new car I’ve been trying to catch up on my savings. I hate seeing it go down and down while spend but that should subside soon. Part of my stress also comes from planning my Japan trip in exactly a month.

Still haven’t booked a hotel for the first few nights and shit… Kinda brutal, but Andrew and I will work it out. Once I get back in May, work takes full priority again with summer time. This season could potentially overwhelm the whole company with business. I’m not certain we’re even prepared for the wave of demand coming our way.

It’s good for my career while in the sort term I worry about the physically and mentally toll. I’ll survive but I also don’t want to feel miserable because I’ve never felt that way about this wonderful place I work at. I love this place I want it to stay sacred forever. It’s been a foundation and sanctuary during the really tough stretch of 2016 and for the rest of the great times I’ve experienced living a good life independently.

Anyway, life is pretty good right now despite some personal stress. Next week I’m having a special visitor so I’m expecting more highs soon.

Just Thought I’d Call

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Friday night I saw Dance Gavin Dance with Amelia and her friends. They’re my friends too. I’m awkward or quiet around them still but I shouldn’t be. They’re super nice to me, and clearly like me. I like them a lot too.

Amelia is going to be my new roommate next week. I’m moving down to North Park, finally. I should have written that here a long time ago but it’s finally happening. Gotta be careful with my bills but I’m doing it.

Going to the show was a bit of a preview. I got to North Park after work, parked at my usual spot, and got City Taco before the show. It felt natural.

Posted up inside The Observatory and met with the squad. DGD played before Chon and definitely showed how their live aptitude. The group of us collectively came to hear tracks off Mothership. They certainly delivered on that.

I was especially happy to sing along with “Betrayed by The Game” followed by an old gem “Me and Zoloft Get Along Just Fine” at the height of the set.

Initially the plan was to see Chon as well but we were all satisfied with DGD and dipped out. It’s not everyday I get to share a meal with anyone anymore. Sitting down with them was an absolute treat. I enjoy just listening if anything.

Caroline and Tristan I gotta say are someone of the nicest people I’ve met in this new stage of my life. They’ve opened their home and friendship to me. It’s so unusual when it happens I’ve almost forgotten how to show I’m even appreciative of that.

They’ll always be more of Amelia’s friends but I really like them. I’m looking forward to seeing them more frequently since Melia will live together.

Strangely I was texting a mutual friend of everyone mentioned, whom I’m attracted to. I think Caroline saw I was texting her at the show. She was looking, I looked up, and she saw smiled but I pretended like it was nothing. Showed no emotion.

Part of me didn’t want anyone to know but at the same time I kind liked that she did. Maybe she told the others. It’s an odd conundrum. Thom York said something similar in an interview or article I read once. Wish I had the source but take my word.

Thom was talking about not wanting to share his personal life or stories but in a way he still shares introspective thoughts and feelings. This partly explains Radiohead’s massive success. They’re clever but not giving away the farm in their music but perhaps provide enough to keep you guessing or at least listening.

Speaking of which, OK Computer came out 20 years ago. “Karma Police” and “Let Down” come to mind right away now that we’re on the subject.

Also on point, a woman I’ve known and had thing with before my ex is actually visiting me this month. I daydream about it a lot now that date approaches. I’m a little nervous but as it gets closer the anticipation…

I feel like all these thoughts can’t escape and they’re going to all explode on her at once. Like I know what I want to do when we’re finally alone and the pleasantries are over. How fast is too fast when I close my bedroom door? I know she told me what she wants I just don’t know how much to reserve or if I should just let it all go.

I’m excited, not scared anymore. The confidence I have now. The fearlessness I feel more and more to pursue what I want. I want her. I want the mutual friend too. I want to try it all.

When I work out I feel my strength increase. The physical improvements become more obvious. I know what I can become and what I am. I want to take my control of my body, my career, my money, my lifestyle, who I want to be with.

I don’t want to control another person. I just want control of everything else I can dominate in order to have freedom, leisure, and peace with a woman I could fall in love with.

Music Wire #3

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We’re almost through the first quarter of 2017. An hourglass expires faster than it did just a few years ago. Age makes the past fleeting. Time moved slowly, but as life advances time does too.

Memorable music has already built a narrative to remember this year by. January brought Uniform’s blistering sophomore LP Wake in Fright. I was fortunate to seem them in February at The Hideout.

Oliver Houston and Code Orange also released great records as well. Japandroids may end up owning this year when it’s all over. They had steller sold out performance at The Music Box this past Saturday.

I happened to catch Craig Finn (The Hold Steady) and his new band The Uptown Controls open that show. Great song back stories with his songs. His new solo album We All Want the Same Things drops later this month.

Looking forward, Volumes seek to dominate this summer with Different Animals starting June 9th. Real Estate, Joey Bada$$, and others will also seek to dominate their respective scenes too.

Migos has already solidified a spot on many’s end of the year lists. There’s a long way until January so who knows what the rest of the year will bring.