Today wore me out, despite not doing much of anything. After this work meeting with some important people I felt drained. It mostly has to do with resigning from my employer yesterday, effective end of next week. I struggle finding the words for the feel I have, especially with how certain people didn’t know of my resignation.
I’m tired. Can’t explain why. As excited as I am to begin a new journey elsewhere, I’m disappointed my career couldn’t have continued here. Personally, I had proven and achieved so much, yet the opportunities I wanted weren’t there. Nothing is guaranteed, and no one can predict the future.
Despite despondency there’s so much to take stock of. I took control of my destiny professionally. I turned my experience into a refreshing and stimulating opportunity to build upon what I have learned and built on my personal resume.
Ultimately I’m not where I want to be and taking a chance on something new and unknown was the move I needed right now.
No one knows where I will be in a year but I’m invested in learning and immersing myself in this new job and its comprehensive training. They really wanted me and I want to be wanted in life, professionally, socially, whatever.
Maybe it’s relief of all those feelings about my now old job finally dispersing. Talking about it in the past tense dampens me. When it’s all you’ve known for two years, my first full time job, and you contextualize everything from before and during this job, leaving and acknowledging this job’s end makes me grieve for it a bit.
I have zero bitterness for this job, or anyone there. This job let me live on my own for the first time. I got a car and traveled to Japan thanks to this place. I’ll always be grateful to them and those who helped me along the way.
Thanks to them I experienced enough to take a chance on something new. What I will miss the most are those whom I worked closely with for two years. I will miss the professional and personal connections made grinding out great work together. More than anything that’s what I’m bummed about leaving behind.
Now I put this behind me now. I needed to expel these thoughts. With the end nearing I shift my focus succeeding at my new job and remaining committed to my goals.
Disaesthetic 