I’m getting lost in my head. I’m resisting cigarettes but I could resist getting a late night treat. I look you up because a part of me misses you. Another part despises you and I want to out-achieve you. I’m the spiteful snake.
All I wanna do now is run a mile to catch up with you. I’m going hiking in the morning. Remember I was the one that took you on your first hike, run, to the gym? You forgot that pretty quickly. You forgot who I am. Unfortunately I forgot who I was too. I lost myself for a while. I’m finding the new me now.
The new me is trying to stop depending on cigarettes as a crutch. The new me is establishing himself at work. Staring from the bottom and now I’m laying the foundation for a business operation. The new me wants to lose this weight that holds back my confidence in myself. The new me wants to be someone.
There’s still plenty of old me. I’m still more dedicated than you. I will never quit. I’m dedicated to my craft. I’ve added my best qualities to my new ones. I’ve learned forgiveness. I love my family. I forgive my parents. I forgive my father. I feel empathy for him. I forgive myself for hurting you, losing you. I forgive myself for feeling the way I did for your half. I thought it was all my fault for so long. We share responsibility equally.
I don’t know but you probably blame me for everything. Whatever makes you get through. None of that matters to me anymore. I care about making it at work. Moving up above where everyone thought I go. I feel like Tom Brady. I’m the fucking best yet everyone doubts me. Draft in the sixth round, no one expects anything of me. I will be the best decision my organization has ever made.
My goal is to achieve through dedication and persistence. I’m the most attractive or the smartest. I’m not the strongest nor the best at most things but no one will out work me or out last me. When I finally meet someone they will see me and they won’t quit on me. I don’t quit on love. I’ve had to learn a lot about love over the last few years but I’ve come a long way.
I’ll obtain all my goals and show anyone who doubted me, abandoned me, they were wrong. I’m better than what you thought. I’m supreme and you’re not like me. You don’t deserve my presence and that motivates me to prove myself everyday.
Disaesthetic 